It was the last day of Ganesh Chaturthi I was wearing a beautiful white chikankari kurta hand-stitched by one of the local tailors. It was looking so pretty and me too definitely 😉. I actually had stitched it specially for Ganesh Chaturthi but for the entire 5 days did not get time to wear it or you could say it was raining very heavily so I was worried about it getting dirty. Finally, on the last day, I wore it while going to my cousin's place.
All the time I was just worried about what if it gets dirty, my manstruation date was due so I was worried what if it gets stained. Since it was raining heavily what if some car splashed water on me. Not one but a thousand questions 😏. And to be frank with all these questions I wore it till Visarjan and when I came back home just changed into my old clothes ... started doing all the work wearing that same old t-shirt which has one hole on the sleeves given by a stray dog. My old clothes were already stained with turmeric stain which I got in the morning, Somewhere it had a brownish tint god knows what I cleaned with it, it was a bit wet but I was not worried at all. with those old clothes, I was super duper comfortable sitting on the floor eating food and was not worried about it getting stained or dirty. this was the comfort of wearing home clothes or you could rather say the happiness of being in the comfort of old clothes...
Now let me put focus on your brain...this is not about the clothes it's about our behavior or the way we are comfortable with our own people or inside our home. It does not matter whether we are doing excellent or not in life, it does not matter if we failed, it does not matter whether the world has splashed dirty water from potholes while driving those big cars. It does not matter whether some evil crow shitted on you from the top. It does not matter if you already sat in a place that was made dirty by someone else's emotions. Because you know with one wash of cry everything is going to wash off away and the day after tomorrow you are going to wear the same clothes and still be comfortable in them.
Now let's be a little more mature all things look okay when you are really comfortable with your own people or your kind of people. What if you are not at all comfortable with your own family members. You will feel a burden same as the burden you felt with your new clothes if you make even one mistake. You will feel that everyone is judging me or misunderstanding me (and I definitely don't fall in that category since my family members and my close circle I trust to the core)
and let's also look from another perspective. What if you go with new clothes which were stained in public? Will they entertain you? Will they accept you with all your emotions? Will they be ok with what you are? I doubt whether they will be or there may be rare people who don't care what your clothes are and they just see you as a pure soul.
Sometimes it's so difficult to be you in front of some people who may be even your close friends. You are always worried what if they don't accept me? what if they taunt me for having a stain? what if they make fun of me? it's very much necessary to understand in front of whom we are wearing those old clothes. am I wearing in front of the person who understands me? is that person understanding the fact that I am doing different kinds of work and getting stained is completely ok and they probably know you are going to come out of this mess ...
Now while writing this blog I am just thinking I wish I could have taken my pic in that brand new kurta 😝
Some emotional talks are deep you just need to be deeply empathetic in order to understand it.
Well written, Good job.
ReplyDeletethank you so much :)
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